Curly Dimpled Lunatics...
Friday, January 21, 2011
Eye of Newt, and Devil's Shoestring...
For the third (and last) time I will attempt to breastfeed a child I have brought into this world. Last night, I took down my half-full box of Mother's Milk Tea, which to the amazement of many, is NOT made from Mother's Milk. I actually think that would be illegal. It is actually full of bitter fennel fruit, anise, coriander, fenugreek, and blessed thistle. I bloody love this stuff. It makes me think of babies, and pancakes. Really. The fenugreek herb makes your sweat and breastmilk smell like maple syrup. So, I am one, giant, delicious, fluffy, walking flapjack. Last night I was reading up on the different herbal tinctures and teas that may help in my journey this time...and looks like something called Goat's Rue, is actually better than the other herbs. Scientifically Tephrosia Virginiana, also known as Devil's Shoestring, has also been proven to increase the SIZE of your breasts. Hallelujah. Not only will I be able to feed my child, I will be HOT while doing it!!! Now, where to find any...Anyone have any ideas as to how to kidnap Satan long enough for me to snip the laces off of his New Balance?
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